DOGE Style: The Five Things I Did Last Week

Although I’m not a federal employee, I am inspired by the DOGE practice of asking federal employees what they did last week, so I’ve put together my list:

1.        Like co-president Musk at the cabinet meeting, I wore a baseball cap and a funny t-shirt to important meetings, while at the same, like Brian Glenn (the sharp as an old, worn wooden spoon reporter from Real America Voice) I berated foreign leaders who don’t wear a suit and tie. I’ve always said, “If having a standard is good, then having a double standard is twice as good.”

2.        Fired random people who I saw on the street, who I don’t either employ or know what they do. I bellowed “You’re fired!” in the style of the Apprentice. It just felt right.

3.        Made a commitment to misuse hyperbolic descriptors like “very” and “very, very” and “tremendous” and “greatest, like never before” when something is ordinary or completely unremarkable.

4.        Purchased a “Gulf of Mexico” T-shirt (I actually did this)

5.        Purchased, and hung, a Ukrainian flag at my home. (I actually did this)